They couldn't run a lemonade stand

There’s one expression that grates on me worse than nails down a chalkboard. It doesn’t just irritate. It infuriates. It’s the tired old line, mindlessly parroted by politicians, bureaucrats, journalists, and punters alike: "The Prime Minister runs the country."

Anyone with a shred of sentience who genuinely believes Australia's political leadership is "running the country" probably also thinks forwarded chain emails are a credible source of news.

At best, at best, the Prime Minister and Cabinet manage the government. And judging by daily headlines, they don’t even do that particularly well. To confuse running the government with running the country is to betray a deep misunderstanding. It assumes the government owns, directs, and controls everything. It doesn’t.

The so-called "high-quality" Australian bureaucracy, the supposed engine of government "control," can barely manage itself. It is a bloated, stumbling failure factory, constantly demanding more money and more power to mask its chronic incompetence. Handing the APS more resources is akin handing a toddler a Ferrari and a roadmap. Consider the disasters: NDIS. Robodebt. AUKUS. And that's just scratching the public ones.

Even when a government musters the will to enact real change, it quickly finds itself entangled in a web of committees, lobbyists, and pollsters obsessed with optics. Improvement gets smothered before it even starts.

If Australia were a car, the government would be the fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror: highly visible, swinging wildly, irritating to many, but ultimately steering nothing.

The next time you hear someone solemnly says, "The government should fix this," feel free to laugh and loudly.